Loosing a loved one is a difficult time for us all.
Their funeral ceremony, in whatever format, is our opportunity to say our farewells and pay them the respect they deserve.
You may have been asked to write a eulogy or make a reading of a special verse and the idea of this fills you with fear and dread.
Much of this anxiety centres around the possibility of somehow failing or being overcome with emotion and unable to deliver your words.
Firstly, let me tell you that it’s perfectly normal to feel this way and perfectly acceptable to be emotional on the day. Nobody will judge you.
Stop and think why you are doing this? Perhaps it’s seen as a sense of duty, you may be the eldest sibling and it is expected of you or the family of the deceased hold you in high regard and value your contribution at this emotional time.
Whatever the reason, the nervous feelings you have are the same for everyone, the difference is what you do about it.
You may seek out advice about how to prepare a eulogy and how to overcome your nerves.
Much of the help offered will talk about how to prepare for the event and how to deliver on the day.
I look at this from a completely different view and ask you to think about how you’ll feel when you’ve finished.
That feeling, a mixture of relief and gratitude that “I did it!”
Indulge me for a moment, close your eyes, take a deep breath and carry yourself to that moment…..You finish your speech, exhale, make a small adjustment to the way you are standing and dare to take a look around.
A kind smile, an acknowledgment of thanks, a nod of approval or a gentle squeeze on your hand as you retake your seat but nothing can take away from the feeling you have inside you.
A wonderful warm feeling in your stomach which spreads its wings and somehow lights your face and fills your heart with a glow of well being that stays with you for the rest of the day and beyond.
You are full of pride that you have paid your respects to the deceased.
Can you imagine the reverse of this – sitting in the room watching the second choice speaker and thinking…
“I could have done that.”
“That should be me up there.”
“If only I’d had the courage, if only I’d realised that I could do it.”
“I’ve let myself down and I’ve let others down by not trying.”
“I’ll always regret not making that speech, not making the effort.”
In my career as a trainer and coach, my life experiences and my role as a Celebrant I have helped many build their confidence to deliver speeches, excel in auditions or interviews and overcome stage nerves.
I can help you in both, writing the right words, and delivering these with confidence and ease.
Contact me to learn more, you know you won’t regret it.
Denise x
denise@oaklandscelebrants.co.uk
07718 584575