‘If only’ Inspiring Words From Funeral Celebrant, Denise

If only ......

Throughout our lives we all experience loss, both of those very close to us or a distant relative or acquaintance.

And with these losses we will attend funerals and memorials, and boy can these differ !!

I know I have attended funerals of family and friends and been shocked at the, lack of warmth at a  “Solomon Grundy” type ceremony. You know the ones “Born on a Monday, married on a Wednesday, Died on a Saturday, Buried on a Sunday” and then we have the religious services that follow a set structure with, hopefuIly, a lovely personal Eulogy included.

I’ve also listened in awe at a ceremony focussed on the person,  as I learnt so much about them that I didn’t know and so wish I had.

Sharing Stories

I’ve regretted not knowing the story of their life, especially as told by them, in their words and with their emotions.

And I’m left with the overwhelming thought of “if only ...”

If only I’d asked questions, taken time, looked at photographs, learnt more.

In my role as a Funeral Celebrant, it’s the stories and memories about your loved ones you share with me, that I then weave through their ceremony to give them a warm and loving final farewell both you and they deserve.

2020 has been a very different year and has seen us connecting more with family and friends and possibly questioning our own,or our family’s, mortality.

Many of us have spent time during lockdown sorting out those bags of photographs and boxes of memories that have sat at the back of a cupboard or in a dusty loft.  Or we’ve had the time to relax and reflect on the memories and stories in our hearts and our heads. Now that they’ve seen the light of day don’t leave them there. Bring them to life and let’s get talking to our loved ones. Learn about the lives they’ve lived, the adventures they’ve had and all the little details that make them unique and at the same time sharing our own memories and stories.

This doesn’t have to be a “before you die” conversation. Why not set a challenge on your next Zoom session for each person to show their favourite photograph and tell the story behind it or if you have children, set them the task of interviewing a person and writing a short story about something they learnt

Whatever you choose to do make sure you do something and ensure you won’t be left saying “If only.......”

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